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Sexually assaulted in a park and left to die by a stream.

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02/02/2017        Anonymous

Darley park concert was a yearly concert around my area, a chance for all us teenagers to meet up and drink. If I knew now what was going to happen that night I would of followed both my Parents advice. The night drew dark and I was making my way through a litre bottle of cider. Just a few weeks prior the same monster that raped me had taken my virginity embarsssing peer pressured by friends in which my phone was robbed as well. From that day my vulnerability continued to get the better of me but my mind still knew over my body I could not allow someone to make me feel so empty inside again. Continuing back to the night my life entailed into a black hole, I remember a large group of me and friends laughing and joking before it all becoming a blur. My monster led my limb body into a dark patch under a tree where he forced my head against him while I began to be sick, I remember feeling very helpless and unaware of the next happenings when my last flashback was of his face laughing or cackling as he walked off and left me hanging over a bank with my trousers down. I may of been drunk which I still fear now to have a drink and not have that control?! Does this then mean I should of been raped? My eyes filled with tears as I awakened hours later in the same place, how I wasn't dead I do not know. When my incident was reported the CPS were insensitive myself being a 15 year old at the time and although put boundaries in place to start with didn't stop the abuse I continued to receive from the monsters friends. I was just another statistic to them and a silly little girl who didn't watch a drink but again does that make it acceptable?! My clothes were taken for forensic evidence and rudely offered back to me four years after the event. This event was not taken to court for lack of evidence which I think I was not given enough support for. I now attend counselling through my own doing. 10 years on I'm stIll struggling and began with flashbacks again which has meant my marriage nearly breaking down from my distant attitude of pushing him away and it physically making me sick he comes near me. I have good days and bar but why should victims continue to struggle while predators get away with their attacks.