When i was 19 me and a load of friends had been out drinking and to a club. We had a normal and fun night as usual with my normal crowd of friends. After the club closed about 15 of us left to carry on the party at my friend (C's) house with her boyfriend (G) and our other friend (S) so many people still having fun drinking chilling and listening to music. A typical friday night. I'd had quite a bit to drink and i guess i had just fallen asleep on the end of the sofa. I started to come around waking up with just the sound of background music and the tv on. Feeling groggy and dizzy. All my clothes were removed and my friends (C's) boyfriend (G) was on top of me pushing my legs up having sex with me whispering "its ok it's just me. it's all good shhhhhh now. Over and over. Frozen in disbelief. Never in my right mind would i ever of thought he would hurt me like this or his girlfriend who i assumed was upstairs in bed. I look away from him and cry and realise my other 'friend' (S) is sitting watching the tv eating a pizza as if nothing is going on. I push my way up and he pulls me on top of him and grips my thighs really tight so it hurts pulling my in very hard and says "you're on top now come on." He then grabbed my bum so hard it really hurt trying to make me squirm i think so i move. I kick off to the side so i fall on the floor and grab my hoodie. He takes this neon yellow rope style bracelet off his wrist and says "here put it on" as if its a prize or marking his territory something. He smirks at me gets up and makes his way upstairs to bed with his girlfriend (C) I find my bra, top and trousers which are stuffed down between the wall and sofa and get dressed while sobbing. I could find my knickers though. Too scared to stay but to scared to leave as i couldnt find my phone and it was 4.30 am. No money left and no phone. Miles away from home. So i had drink of pop and a fag and slumped back down on the sofa crying and thinking of what to do. Knowing I'm drunk... what police officer is going to take my story seriously. Not to mention my dad is on the force and all his friends would be interviewing me i couldn't i just couldn't. (S) gets up and comes over as if he didnt see a thing and asks "are you okay babes?"and hugs me. Thinking thank god hes come over here i need a friend now maybe he was just to drunk or to stoned to notice anything bad was happening. Wrong! Things changed quickly and he put his hands on my breasts grabbing them and squeezing so hard then slid his hand up my neck pushing my chin up quite hard and said "might as well. Init? I really fancy you and its probably the only chance I'll get you would never give me the time of day otherwise. relax yeah" he forced his hand down my trousers and to my privates. I froze trying to squeeze my thighs together. And my closed fist to his chest. again sobbing "please (S) dont be like him. You're better than that. Please.." He didnt stop but tried to be a bit more sensual i guess by licking me and kissing me but if anything it made me feel sick. He pulled my trousers down and rolled on top so i couldnt move well. He took his hand away from my neck and grabbed my hair pulling really tight to the side. Using his other hand under my top. Then stopping and pulling my top right up to suck on my breasts it was disgusting. I felt so dirty and ashamed even more so than earlier. I was shaking uncontrollably. To which he said "see!!! i can feel you're enjoying it now you're shaking so you're getting close to cuming.. stop fighting it." When he had finished he got up and went back to the chair by the tv and and lit a cigarette. I grabbed my trousers and fags and lit myself one too. I wandered out the front door not caring where i was going i mean it couldnt get any worse could it.. i walked back to town to a pub where we all normally drink in the day and banged on the door up the steps and woke the landlady up. I stayed on her sofa. In the morning (C) (S) and (G) came to the pub with other friends and (G) made a huge joke that i had slept with (S) and how funny it was even though it was (G) who had started this whole ordeal. I felt so angry and upset. When they left to get food another friend shouted "ha i heard you slept with (S) last night. I screamed "Noooo i didnt he raped me!" I tried to tell her the story but i could only tell her about (S) not (G) i was scared she wouldnt not believe about both and that i was trying to break up (G) and (C's) relationship. Plus what if (C) already knew and didnt care?
A few months after (S) came to talk to me in the pub and said he couldn't believe what he had done and didnt know what came over him. I told him to just leave it. He tried to be so nice to me all year too. Urgh. A year on from that night (S) died from a bleed on the brain. And everyone was so sad but i felt nothing. So many didn't get why i didnt go to the funeral etc. I didn't dare tell others. (G) is no longer with (C) but i feel so stupid for not at least trying to report it. Although i still feel they would of thrown out the case due to the amount of alcohol involved.
I saw (G) had a relationship with a woman who had around 4 or 5 daughters which made me feel sick and extremely guilty incase he ever tried to touch them. They are no longer an item it seems. 14 years on and it still haunts me everyday especially since i am normally quite aggressive and can normally handle myself if someone is giving me trouble. Why did i freeze? Was it because the shock of it being so called friends? I dont know.
Please Please report it if it happens to you be strong i was stupid and regret it so much.