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The fear of facing my abuse

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29/04/2015        Anonymous

I was 6 years old when it began for me. I was around 16 when it stopped. My father had abused me and that trust daughters are supposed to have with their dads. My dad always told me I was his special girl. He made me feel that I was always being a good girl. Eventually I put a stop to all this. When he was confronted he was asked why....he told me because I showed him so much love! That made me reconfirm that this was all my fault. I shouldn't have been so nice! For years I've suffered with my hatred, my guilt, my sickening reality. I couldn't go a day without feeling angry and disgusted with myself. I have suffered from reactive depression and God help me ever talking to anyone especially a lawyer who may pull apart everything I say. And I feared hearing from the law that it was my fault. I couldn't have been so wrong. When facing the court I was a shacking wreck but I could only speak the truth. I faced all my fears and in 1 week I finally got some peace in my mind. My father was found guilty to 13 counts of sexual abuse and was inprisoned. My life will still be scarred and it's never going to go away but after everything I've been through I would tell any one to find the strength to get through going to the police and seek justice and for their own sanity talk. It really did help me regardless of how difficult it was.